November 10

Tie Me Up Before You Go

(12:18:49 PM) The Cosmos:
{Phoenix stops but doesn’t turn around}
(12:21:20 PM) The Universe:
{Alexei walks up behind her, wraps his arms around her waist, quietly in her ear} Talk to me.
(12:24:04 PM) The Cosmos:
{Phoenix stays rigid} What would you like to talk about sir?
(12:25:12 PM) The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, quietly} We can start with how you are feeling.
(12:27:03 PM) The Cosmos:
{Phoenix softly} Drained.
(12:28:17 PM) The Universe:
{Alexei nods, quietly} Are you angry, Bella?
(12:30:28 PM) The Cosmos:
{Phoenix shakes her head, letting it fall forward} No…I’m embarrassed.
(12:31:44 PM) The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} Why?
(12:33:06 PM) The Cosmos:
{Phoenix quietly} I was feeling safe. I let myself believe it was going to be okay.
(12:35:21 PM) The Universe:
{Alexei nods, loosens his grip on her, takes a step back, quietly} And you no longer feel that way.
The Cosmos:
{Phoenix turns to face him, her eyes wide} I feel like…{shakes her head} How did he know?
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} How did he know what, Bella?
The Cosmos:
{Phoenix softly, drops her eyes again} That I was that.
The Universe:
{Alexei pushes his hands into his pockets } I will answer that, but.. you feel like what?

The Cosmos:
{Phoenix quietly} Like I gave up too much.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} He knew because I told him. He thought it would help relieve some of the pressure you are feeling. I am sorry. I seem to have made a grave error in judgment.
The Cosmos:
{Phoenix quietly} I’m not angry.. Don’t please.
The Cosmos:
{Nix raises her eyes to his} It did.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, quietly} You need me to take care of you right now. And I need t do that. Will you let me?
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} No one’s ever done that…or forgiven me.
The Universe:
{Alexei steps closer again, takes her by the elbow and pulls her into his arms, quietly} You are in a different place and time, Bella. With different people.
The Cosmos:
{Phoenix wraps her arms around him, bursts into tears} I don’t know what to do with it, Alexei.
The Universe:
{Alexei moves a hand to the back of her head, quietly} We will figure it out. For now, just accept it and expect things to be much different. If Damien says he has forgiven you, he has forgiven you. He does not lie. He says we will work on the others. We will do that. And he says we will be building trust. We will do that, as well.

 

The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} I’m trying…{softly} Usually after something like that we were locked away. but it was also much …more brutal.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods, pulls back and looks at her} We will lock ourselves away together tonight.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} I’d like that. Very much. {quietly} You’re not…Sir anymore?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} Only if you would like me to be.
The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} I like it.. but not..right now. Right now I just need you.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods, quietly} I am here. {looks at her} You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. The more I learn about you, the more beautiful you are. You are lacking in no way.
The Universe:
{Alexei searches her eyes, quietly} Small men must tear others down to make themselves feel bigger.
The Cosmos:
{Nix very softly} It was the only thing he knew. I never heard him utter a kind word to anyone.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Then you will be surprised at how rarely such behavior happens here.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} Where you used the crop.. with them I would have been tortured. {looks at him} I already am.
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head, quietly} I did not like that. I would not like to have to do it again. {looks at her} I did not want to hurt you and I did not want to trigger anything bad for you. The things that you have been through.. one must be careful.
The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} I don’t think you could ever…be that. I always knew that there was something *wrong* but it was all I knew.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And you will learn very quickly what the “wrong” was.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks up at him} I don’t want to be afraid of you or them. Grandfather terrified me…everyone really. But he had a special…hatred for me. I would have loved to see his face when he realized his empire was falling around him.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, quietly} Was there a reason you were so.. “special” to him?
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} Yes…my blood wasn’t pure. I was tainted, the product of an affair between my mother and a visiting ghoul.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} I see. {smiles} Lineage matters very little here as well.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} With everyone here it’s kind of a hodge podge.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Power belongs to those with the strength to take it and the wisdom to wield it. Parentage has no say in the matter.
The Universe:
{Alexei lets her go, puts his arm around her and starts walking} The king was born in a caravan and his red haired consort is the daughter of a millionaire.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him, blinks} That’s actually fitting.
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} He is an opportunist. But he is also a man who started from nothing and clawed his way to the top so he can appreciate what it is like and what it means to be.. on the bottom.
The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} They make the best leaders.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Lucien has never been so.. disadvantaged. Damien, however, Lucien’s brother, was actually the bastard son of Lucien’s father with a whore. *He* has been disadvantaged.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} Damien? Wow. He’d make a good leader too.
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles, nods} He does. He is also very.. reasonable. He will listen to your thoughts and ideas.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} He is a.. communicator. Unlike Genja.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at her feet as they walk} He’s so…intense. {looks over at him} Genja doesn’t communicate?
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} Not very well. He usually keeps his thoughts to himself. He makes decisions and will balance them against other opinions, but ultimately, he makes his own choices with very little influence from others.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} He is very.. self contained.
The Cosmos:
{Nix frowns} Does that work for him?
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} For the most part, it works very well. Extremely few people understand him or the way his mind works so it is just as well. But know that when he says he is going to do something, he will do it. So, he will not commit himself to something until he is absolutely certain he will be able to follow through, no matter how large or how small.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} Genja’s world is black and white with very little gray.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} So him not condemning me to death was a good thing?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} It means he has no intention of executing you.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} I think that’s a good thing.
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} Genja will only execute you if you are a threat to his court or himself. If you are an asset to his court, you have nothing to worry about insofar as that goes.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} Then I will endeavor to be an asset.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} I think you should meet him again. On a more.. personal.. level.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks over at him} You do? Why?
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} Because I think it will benefit you. Because court shows you very little of the man. {smiles} Particularly when he is chastising his vampires for being weak and boring.
The Universe:
{Alexei shrugs} And it will help him form his own opinion without the reactions and interference of others.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} I will. Whenever he’s got time.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} I will arrange it.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} Soon? Will you go with me?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} Yes and of course.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him} Thank you.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, quietly} There is nothing I would not do for you.
The Cosmos:
{Nix holds his look} Nor I you, Alexei. I will do whatever it takes.
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} There is very little I would ask of you. I am not a difficult man.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles playfully} Unless you’re in a dungeon?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles again} Oh, in a dungeon I expect *so* much more.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him, quietly} You were very…sexy.
The Universe:
{Alexei holds her look, quietly} As were you, Bella.
The Cosmos:
{Nix shakes her head} I like you like that. But I like you like this too.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Then it is good that I am able to do both. But that command… for your release. I do not like that. I do not like to say that to you, so we will recondition you to accept something more appropriate or to remove the need for it all together.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} There are some women, that it would not bother me. But with what you have suffered and the way you have been treated.. I will not accept it.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} That command was nothing more than a power play.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Even more reason to do away with it.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} It would be one thing if you.. enjoyed it. But I do not believe you do or could.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} I remember once I missed the command because I was…zoned out.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And what happened?
The Cosmos:
{Nix shakes her head} Nothing good. I was denied … after almost constant stimulation.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And never did you trust your masters. It will be strange for you when you realize you do. For Damien, trust is necessary. His methods are tempered with mercy and understanding. Evander seems to be tempered with compassion. {smiles} He is very focused on the woman and ensuring she feels safe and loved.
The Cosmos:
{Nix shakes her head} I did not.. there was no reason to. {looks at him} What tempers you, Alexei?
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} I am not sure. Perhaps, one day, you will be able to tell me.
The Cosmos:
{Nix holds his look, softly} I think for you it depends on the woman.
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} And why do you think that?
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} Because I think you feed on what she gives you.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And what do you give me, Bella?
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} Trust, understanding, Me.
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} I believe you are right.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks into his eyes} Maybe even love.
The Universe:
{Alexei holds her look, quietly} I feel the same way.
The Cosmos:
{Nix blinks, whispers} You do? {tears spring to her eyes again}
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} You should not be surprised. I have been very transparent all night.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} Yes you have. But still.. it’s surprising after that.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her curiously} After what?
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him} In there.
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} I do not understand why *that* would make my feelings more surprising.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him} I can’t explain it… seeing me like that…
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} Seeing you like that did not diminish you in my eyes or the desire I have for you.
The Cosmos:
{Nix holds his look} That’s what’s surprising.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, quietly} After all we have discussed, all we have shared, how would that change anything? It is what I already knew.
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} It is part of what binds us.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} It is.. It’s just.. the last man that said that to me..after seeing me that way..left.
The Universe:
{Alexei stops walking and turns to her} Tell me about it? I was under the impression the only men in your life were those your grandfather allowed. That you were.. little more than entertainment.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} It was shortly after I was turned over to my uncle. I was given to a guest. He and I spent most of the night just talking. He told me about his life in another realm and I told him of mine. He came back several times during the next few months and always requested me. The last time.. it was my turn for the feasting. They would lay us out or suspend us and there would be punishments and the men and some of the women were allowed to take liberties they wouldn’t normally be able to. He saw that and participated in it.. then he left, telling me he couldn’t have someone like me..like *that*.
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} Then you are better off without him. He should have expected it. He should have known.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} If he’d truly loved you, he would not have let that turn him away. He would not have abandoned you to that.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him} He did know. {quietly} I think he showed up when he did to *see* it.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} He was unworthy of you.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him, quietly} I didn’t feel that way at the time.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} And you will not feel as you did again if I can help it.

The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} I believe you.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods, starts walking again} The women that find themselves in that position here also find they are more closely bound to the men that have them there. As it should be.
The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} Sangria and Damien?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} Yes. Van and Kendra. The women here do not submit unless they want to, not because they are forced to. It is a relationship centered on trust. Not power. They are cherished, not abused.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} I can see it just in what I’ve seen.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} It will take time to undo what has been done to you, but we have the time. {looks at her} When Van instructed Kendra to kneel, she did so without hesitation. He is a human and she is a vampire. It did not matter in that moment, in that room. And when she did, he made it a point to tell her how beautiful she is to him. He does not hide his feelings regardless of the roles they are playing.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} My.. masters had no feelings.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} So it would seem. Many would think the same of Genja, but even he is capable of feeling. But he is not like Damien and Evander. For him, it *is* about control and power, therefore, most of the women that find themselves in that room with him kneeling at his feet are not there to be loved. They are there to be broken. The uglier side of the same coin.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} What they were trying to do to me.. us.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} Genja is not capable of the love and care Evander and Damien are. He is not in touch with his emotions. He is very far divorced from them. Therefore, he cannot maintain such a relationship daily.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks at him} Is he capable of loving?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} Yes. He is not well equipped to recognize it as such, however.
The Cosmos:
{Nix takes his hand} He has to be told.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And then he has to think about it, analyze it. And finally, when realizes the truth of it and cannot argue against it, he will accept it.
The Cosmos:
{Nix softly} Does he get angry because they’re right?
The Universe:
{Alexei smiles} No. Why should he? It is what it is. I think he is awed by women that do that to him, however. Not only because they are able to find love for him, but to recognize what he feels even when he doesn’t and then to have the confidence to tell him.

The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} He can appreciate them.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And he is always surprised when women fall in love with him. Because he knows he is not lovable.
The Cosmos:
{Nix looks down, very softly} I can understand that sentiment.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} But Genja will not change it. It is a vital part of who he is and the things he is capable of. He also does not get lonely. Edward, however, is a different story. He feels he is not lovable and he is surprised when a woman feels for him, but he becomes excruciatingly lonely.
The Cosmos:
{Nix blinks} Why does Edward feel that way?
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her} Because like you, he feels as though he is never enough or good enough. Because too many women have not looked past his face to the heart that beats inside. Because he has done things he regrets that make him feel monstrous. He does not feel deserving.
The Cosmos:
{Nix nods} Regrets.. But he’s got Taryn.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} And I am sure he feels unworthy of her. I am sure he is waiting for her to realize what he already believes and for her to leave him when she does.
The Cosmos:
{Nix smiles} She’s falling for him.
The Universe:
{Alexei looks at her, smiles} How do you know this?
The Cosmos:
{Nix shrugs} I was watching her. I felt it when I visited her.
The Universe:
{Alexei nods} I hope it is true. He is a broken man, Bella. In many ways he is perhaps the most broken of all of us. He is too sensitive for his own good. He feels not only his own pain but that of others. At times, he can barely move or function it is so intense. It is not always the gift everyone believes.
The Cosmos:
{Nix quietly} Will that help him her falling in love with him?
The Universe:
{Alexei shakes his head} It will be difficult for him to trust that her feelings are real or that he is not reading too much into her words. I do not know if it will help him, though.

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Copyright 2017. All rights reserved.

Posted November 10, 2012 by The Universe in category "Fiction", "Vampires